My Therapy Corner on Infidelity Recovery and Relational Healing
Anna Aslanian, Director and Founder of My Therapy Corner, is a Certified Gottman Couples therapist. Through her education and many years of experience, she has developed a great understanding of infidelity in relationships and infidelity recovery. Anna stresses that betrayal does not have to be the end of the relationship, there are ways to recover and heal together. There are also ways to heal individually, if one does not want to remain in the relationship.
It is important to be aware that betrayal IS trauma. Ruminating about the past, being vigilant, trying to make sense of the present, going over and over in one’s mind wondering why, where and how these problems started are all trauma responses. These are all indicators of the same post-traumatic stress disorder that soldiers experience, even though the trauma is very different here. Research by Shirley Glass confirms that these symptoms are present after the discovery of an affair. Discovery of other types of betrayal can have the same effect. Triggers can show up months and years later and just like that, like an emotional allergy, a person can react. Healing is possible and it’s okay to ask for help.
Whether one decides to continue the relationship after the discovery of infidelity or to move forward alone, therapy is incredibly beneficial to process the trauma and proceed towards healing. Anna recommends searching for a therapist with additional training in infidelity/betrayal trauma recovery. Therapy modalities that Anna recommends are Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Attachment-Focused EMDR and/or other trauma-informed modalities. If both partners decide to move forward together after a betrayal, it is important that the affair is currently not happening. The partner who participated in the affair must be willing to stop the affair and put energy into healing the relationship. Honesty in sessions and with each other is a must.
Anna wants to stress that one partner’s choice to have an affair and/or be dishonest doesn’t reflect on the other partner. People have affairs for many different reasons. It is important for the betrayed partner to focus on themselves and what is good for them at this time. Over time, through processing the trauma and paying attention to oneself, betrayal wounds will heal.
References:
Glass, S. P., & Wright, T. L. (1997). Reconstructing marriages after the trauma of infidelity. In W. K. Halford & H. J. Markman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of marriage and couples interventions (pp. 471–507). John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Media Contact
Company Name: My Therapy Corner
Contact Person: Anna Aslanian
Email: Send Email
Phone: 424-385-7503
Country: United States
Website: https://mytherapycorner.com/
